MUSINGS AND THOUGHTS
Musings and thoughts that have crossed my mind,
like a feather on the breeze or a leaf blowing in the wind. Some
may remain on this page for a while and others may drift away.
James Lloyd Clark
Listening For The Call
Since my wife, Sandy, encountered a stroke six years
ago and now needs my help to accomplish many of the normal, everyday tasks and
functions of life, my system has developed an awareness mode that seems to be
always on the alert. Usually, the smallest of sounds from her at night will
awaken me and I check to see if she needs my help. Sometimes she requires my
help just to turn over on her side, in bed. This situation is not conducive to a
good night's sleep, nor a good day's rest, but it seems to be a characteristic of a care giver.
During the day I sense a mode of mild apprehension as if waiting or listening
for my wife's call or request for help.
The following thoughts and questions crossed my mind this
morning, after waking up early. Am I aware of, and alert to, the movements and wishes of my Lord? Am I
attentive to his will and listening for his voice? Do I recognize the work of
his hand in the events and happenings taking place in the world today? Am I
sensitive to the directions and warnings found in his word? It is for certain
that a person's relationship with God is the most important aspect of their
entire life. Am I listening for His call? Would I wake up early if, in a still
small voice, He should call?
February 16, 2005.
Sandy
had a clear, distinct voice before she experienced a stroke in 1999. She could
sing very well and her voice was well suited to folk style music. She lost a
large portion of her speech capabilities due to the stroke. A few weeks ago I
asked her to sit down and I held a microphone for her and asked her to sing with
me. It was a spur of the moment thing and I didn't have a song in front of me
but this is the way it sounded.
SANDY AND JIM singing
My Debt Was Paid My wife and I had an interesting experience
this evening, September 7, 2005. I had told her that I would take her out to get
something to eat and she was happy about that. She had a stroke over 6 years ago
and has right hemiparesis. We didn't take the wheelchair with us and while we
were out we decided to go to Bob Evans in Mishawaka, Indiana. All the handicap
spaces were full and we parked one row of cars out from the building. Sandy
thought she could walk that distance into the restaurant. It was a very slow
process and she was breathing hard when we made it inside. Shortly after sitting
down and ordering food Sandy became weak and exhibited seizure like symptoms.
This happens frequently at home and I have found that the best thing I can do is
hold her close in my arms and talk to her. She usually recovers in just a few
moments. This time I did the same thing. I kneeled on the floor beside her and
held her in my arms and spoke to her. Pretty soon she began to come around and
indicated that she thought that she had walked too far.
I kept my attention on her during our meal and didn't look around the restaurant
very much. When we were finished eating the waitress came to our table and told
us that the couple who had been sitting across the aisle from us had paid our
bill and we didn't owe anything. I was surprised and felt a need to express my
appreciation but the couple had already left. I felt odd because I hadn't even
noticed the couple and didn't know what they looked like.
While driving home afterward I was thinking that someone that I didn't even know
had paid my bill. I don't know if they used cash or a credit card. Then my mind
thought of someone else who, many years ago, had paid a debt of mine that was
far greater than the dinner bill. He didn't pay that debt with cash or a credit
card but with his own blood. Tears came to my eyes and I felt very insignificant
but appreciative. Thank you Lord!
September 7, 2005
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