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For where your treasure is, there will  your heart be also. Matthew 6:21 KJV
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TOMORROW'S MEMORIES

December 30, 2003

The events of today will feed the memories of tomorrow,  may they be warm, pleasant and enjoyable.

Throughout the 30 years of our marriage, before Sandy had a serious stroke in 1999, she always seemed to enjoy preparing or "fixing" my plate at mealtime. She didn't always do it, but much of the time she did, and with ample servings of everything, especially some of my favorites. Sandy was a tremendous cook and everything she created, mixed, blended, kneaded and prepared always tasted so good, so when she prepared my plate I appreciated all of it, and as I said, she seemed to enjoy fixing my plate for me.

When she had a stroke the roles were reversed and I have been "fixing" her plate for her these past, almost five years. Her entire right arm is of no service to her since the stroke and she has about ten or fifteen percent use of her right leg, enough to be able to slowly walk a short distance with the aid of a walker in her left hand, while wearing a orthotic brace on her right leg, foot and ankle. She can no longer create or build the beautiful works of art, displays and figures  that she so enjoyed creating. Her speech ability has been seriously effected and communication is difficult. She can no longer cook and many times I bring her food to her on a tray and she eats in the living room, while sitting in her favorite chair, watching TV.

We went to Sandy's sister, Boots,  house for Christmas Eve night and to my son Brad's house for Christmas Day. Her sister Boots is a good cook and Brad's wife, Sandy Kay, is also an excellent cook so we brought home with us, an abundant supply of assorted food and goodies. We have been eating great, from that supply, these past five days and I appreciate and am thankful for all of it.

This evening about mealtime, I pushed Sandy out into the kitchen in her wheelchair and placed her near the table while I retrieved the food containers from the refrigerator and placed them on the table to see what we had. I got two plates out of the cupboard and Sandy showed me what she wanted on her plate and as I started to fix her plate she picked up the other plate and said something like, "I fix your plate".  At first I said, No, I'll take care of it Honey but I noticed a disappointed and hurt look on her face and changed my mind. I asked her if she wanted to fix my plate and she said yes so I handed her the plate and said, All right Honey, you go right ahead. She started spooning out portions of food onto my plate and I noticed a little smile on her face and a look of pride and satisfaction. She was reclaiming a tiny part of her life that had been stolen away by the stroke. I believe she sensed some personal pride and dignity from the fact that she could still fix my plate and I made sure that she understood that I appreciated it. It was a precious, tender moment and one that will remain in my memory. Tomorrow's memories, today,  December 30, 2003.
Thank you Lord.

Sandy Update: I awakened from sleep about 2:00 AM, Thursday, February 7, 2008 and found that Sandy was having a seizure. When I realized that I could not help her I called 911 and a ambulance took her to Lakeland Hospital, where she was admitted. She never fully recovered from the effects of the seizure and despite many efforts by the Doctor and Nurses she passed away on Friday, February 8, about 3:00 PM. Sandy has gone home.  Below is a link to Sandy's obituary.

James Lloyd Clark

Sandy's Obituary

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